Soon I will be celebrating my 15^th year as a Rotarian. Rotary is an international service organization of over 1.2 million people in 202 countries. Our motto is “Service above Self.” Seems to me to be a perfect way of describing Fearless Networkers, here’s why:

• Fearless networkers put their time and energy in contributing, helping and serving others in the non-profit, business and academia communities.

• Fearless networkers understand that serving is not servitude or slavery. Slaves are people forced to give. According to Ron McCann, author of “The Joy of Service,” “True servants choose to serve cheerfully and willingly.”

• Fearless networkers are total believers in the universal law of giving and receiving and therefore are not interested in finder’s fees and shared commissions. They have a positive expectancy that their giving will be rewarded tenfold or more.

• Fearless networkers believe that kindness (generosity) strengthens their livelihood (bottom-line) with plenty left over to continue to give joyfully to others.

• Fearless networkers understand and practice the philosophy that says, “You make a living by what you get, but make a life by what you give.” Author Unknown

• Fearless networkers know that God determines our greatness by the number of people we serve. Not by the number of people that serve us.

• Fearless networkers understand that relationships are truly active only when we are serving others.

• Fearless networkers understand the energy behind giving is lessened greatly by giving reluctantly and grudgingly.

• Fearless networkers understand and apply their kindness and generosity in the following ways:
* Thoughtfully * Eagerly * Voluntarily * Joyfully

• Fearless networkers believe that trust is absolutely imperative for building long-term relationships with those they serve.

• Fearless networkers understand that people don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.

• Fearless networkers care about other people’s challenges, issues, concerns, opportunities and goals. They focus outwardly on striving to help others resolve their challenges, issues, and concerns and attain their goals while taking positive action on their opportunities. All through Fearless Networking.

To find out more about Fearless Networking, go to www.fearlessnetworkers.com

“My doctors told me I would never walk again. My mother told me I would. I believed my mother.” – Wilma Rudolph, Olympic Gold Medalist

In a 2008 article in AOL Small Business, the results of a survey of business networkers, showed that 70% of all networkers are women. Currently, women-only networking groups are booming both in-person and digitally. Below I am listing 10 qualities of women that are beneficial to becoming fearless networkers:

1.     Most women are simply better at building relationships, which is what expert networkers like Ivan Misner, founder and CEO of Business Network International agree, that building relationships is the backbone of business networking.  What makes women better at relationship building? Read items 2-10 below:

2.     Most women are better at empathetic listening. They tend to listen with a strong desire to understand the whole person. This is a major factor in successful networking and selling.

3.     Most women demonstrate more heartfelt caring. They tend to communicate more from the heart than the head. For the most part, people can sense whether you care about them or just care about making a sale.

4.     Most women are better at identifying emotional needs. Sales experts like Zig Ziglar, Tom Hopkins and Brian Tracy believe that people are persuaded by mostly by emotion rather than logic.

5.     Most women are better at asking penetrating questions. They tend to ask questions that elicit more detail about issues, wants, needs and concerns. This gives women a tremendous edge in matching needs, issues and wants to someone in their network who can help.

6.     Most women relate to the emotional or feeling side of others. Again, this is the side that persuades others to take action. According to Myers-Briggs most women are “feeling” while most men are “thinking” types.

7.     Most women engender trust at a much faster rate than men. For the most part, they speak and behave with sincerity and genuine interest. It appears to be second nature. 

8.     According to behavioral scientists, women are more receptive to social support than men. Social support engenders trust. A key factor in fearless networking.

9.     From personal observation, women appear to be more adept at breaking the ice and finding common ground first before striving to persuade others to buy. Thus women appear to naturally understand and practice the maxim “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

10.   Another huge key to being an effective networker is having a desire and passion to help others. Women appear to have a penchant to serve others. To give first rather than get first. Those who favor the old way of networking, the “What can I get types” on the other hand, have to work harder at overcoming “me-first tendencies.”  Women networkers say that they relate better to other women business owners who share their helpful approach to networking. The Center for Women’s Business Research reports that women networking groups are flourishing in direct proportion to the growth in women-owned businesses.

Perhaps there is much to be said for opening up and talking from the heart. Women do so often with no agenda whatsoever, other than to provide a listening ear and later even to refer someone who may be able to help, if they can’t. I feel strongly that following this same approach will get results for anyone who wants to quickly become a fearless networker!

To find out more about fearless networking go to www.fearlessnetworkers.com

“Today, your success has to come from you. And therefore, it belongs to you.”

-Sally Hogshead, author of “Radical Careering”

Loss of a job and the proverbial job hunting process can be devastating to our self-esteem. Our self-confidence and self-perception can take a beating the longer we remain unemployed. Our intimate relationships with our spouse and children can become severely strained due to the repercussions from the loss of financial stability. Finally, our personal health can be harmed from the accompanying stress, anxiety, hopelessness and depression that most job hunters contend with; especially, those over 40. The good news is that there are steps we can take to minimize the negative impact on our self-esteem, relationships and personal health often attributable in large part to job loss and job transition. Following are principles fearless networkers follow on a daily basis in their networking that help them naturally cope with these issues mentioned above:

Fearless networkers:

1. Stay active. They join and actively participate in career development and management groups such as “between job ministries”, job transition and business networking groups.
2. Stay productive. They utilize their portable (transferable) skills to work as community volunteers or take on part time jobs to contribute to the often strained household budget.
3. Stay positive. They maintain a positive mental attitude by listening to motivational tapes and CDs by speakers such as Zig Ziglar whose timeless series on “Staying at the Top” has inspired many. Most importantly, they avoid “pity parties” inundated with negative nay-sayers and complainers/whiners who spend much of their conversation on the poor economy, the lousy job market, the many layoffs and the “poor me syndrome”. Instead, they practice self-affirmation talks and visualize themselves succeeding in their networking and job search.
4. Stay personally accountable. They are not finger pointing blame-finders. They don’t waste time that could be used to stay focused and persistent in planning and performing their job search, on berating their former co-workers, bosses or colleagues.  Nor complain what the government is or is not during to improve their plight.
5. Maintain healthy relationships. They understand and are aware of how stress, anxiety and irritability can strain relationships. So, they readily see things from their family’s point of view and openly communicate with their spouse and children about the impact their job search is having on the family. Most importantly, they are aware of the gender perspective on financial security. In other words, for example, women are concerned most about financial security and men most about feeling appreciated. So arguments about finances and not during enough to contribute are rare.
6. Stay physically healthy. Another way they cope with stress, anxiety and irritability is through aerobic-type exercises like walking, jogging are swimming and anaerobic activities like yoga and tai-chi. They also make healthy eating choices.
7. Stay prayerful. Most fearless networkers understand and appreciate the power of prayer and of having a relationship with God. They know how to let go and let God take over while maintaining their personal accountability.
8. Stay focused. They understand that a job does not define them. As Sally Hogshead says in her book “Radical Careering” “a job description is not a self-description”.
9. Stay active “go-givers”. Their philosophy of giving serves them well in their job transition. Their focus on helping others increase their business volume, find a job or career and deal with the negative impact of job, loss helps keep their focus off themselves and their own worries. They practice what author Michael Oliver professes “My anxiety increases when I focus on me. My anxiety decreases when I focus on you.”
10. Count their blessings, not their troubles. They keep an inventory of accomplishments, linkedin recommendations, thank you letters and testimonials and review them when they start having doubts and feeling down or insecure.
11. Netweave with others by focusing on helping others resolve challenges through providing matchmaking referrals on a consistent basis. They do this through social networking and face-to-face networking.

Find out more about Fearless Networking at www.fearlessnetworkers.com

“If you sincerely try to understand another person’s point of view, then they become psychologically obligated to try to understand your point of view.”

– Sales Training International’s Customer Service Excellence™ Program

When networking for new business development or to find a job or career, it is imperative that you seek to build relationships first by focusing on being a problem solver rather than a product seller. In other words, focus on being a giver not a getter.

1. Seek first to build a relationship before delving into your product/service spiel or job search spiel. When building relationships keep in mind the old adage: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

    2.   Begin building a relationship by identifying common ground.

    3.   To identify common ground make small talk by talking about weather, topics in the

          news, inspirational quotes, hobbies and interests. Avoid talking politics and religion. 

          Talking politics or religion can block your initial efforts at relationship building.

    4.   Become astute at asking penetrating questions that elicit detailed responses that

          help you to get to know the responder better.

    5.   Become an attentive listener. Listen actively and completely. Recap what you have

          heard. Get feedback that what you heard was correct.

    6.   Listen for needs, challenges, concerns, and wants to determine how you can help.

    7.   Become a netweaver by identifying and helping resolve a need, challenge, concern

          and want through matchmaking. Matchmaking is identifying someone in your

          network who can help, if you cannot.

    8.   Become excellent at following up on referrals given to make certain that the

          referral resolved the problem.

    9.   Let “serving others” be your mantra. Remember that relationships are only active

          when you are serving others. The best 5 words of a successful networker: “How

          can I serve you.”

    10. Before attending networking events or attempting to connect with others anywhere,

          have an objective in mind of the number of people you will seek to build a

          relationship with. Having a goal/objective to make connections with others will

          greatly enhance your chances of success in business networking efforts.

To learn more about becoming an effective business networker go to www.fearlessnetworkers.com.

“Tell me the truth with compassion”

–Bracey, Rosenblum, Sanford and Trueblood authors of “Managing From the

  Heart”

A chief reason for the success of fearless networkers in growing their businesses is their caring attitude. To help you remember these six attitudes of fearless networkers I have developed a mnemonic for C.A.R.I.N.G.:

Fearless Networkers are highly successful at providing their connections with advice, information, recommendations and referrals because they:

Choose to believe they can contribute to any networking situation by keeping

their network in the forefront of their minds when business or job networking

Act on their desire to serve by providing advice, information, recommendations and referrals to people they connect with through face-to-face or social networking

Relationship building by first focusing on sincerely helping or contributing to

others before seeking to persuade them to do business with them

Intently interested in listening for needs, issues, concerns and wants of

people they connect with through face-to-face or social networking sites

Nurtures and keeps relationships viable by matching the needs, issues,

concerns and wants to others in their network that can provide solutions when

they cannot

Go give is always the first priority rather than go get

Find out more about fearless networking at www.fearlessnetworkers.com.

“When you’re prevented from doing your best work, you lose confidence.”

– Sally Hogshead, author of Radical Careering

Are you an effective or ineffective networker? Take the following quiz and rate your own basic networking knowledge and skills:

1.              Do you bring enough business cards to your networking events?

2.             Do you readily introduce yourself to others at networking events?

3.             Do you introduce yourself with a smile, firm handshake while making eye contact?

4.             Do you begin with small talk (talking about a general topic like the weather)?

5.             Do you hold off giving your 30 second elevator speech until after making small talk and  

               identifying common ground?

6.             Do you listen far more than you talk? (80-20 ratio)

7.             Do you have a clear objective about the number of networking contacts you will

               make before arriving at a networking event?

8.             Do you have an objective to help or contribute to others you network with?

9.             Do you participate in networking events on a regular basis? (Several times a week)

10.           Do you make an effective first impression by presenting a professional image?

11.           Do you use social networking services like Linkedin, FaceBook and Twitter?

12.           Do you follow up of with your networking contacts on a regular, frequent basis?

13.           Do you have regular meet ups with local social networking contacts?

14.           Do you ask questions to elicit information about needs, wants and concerns?

15.           Do you have a system for organizing your contacts e-mails and business cards?

16.           Do you attempt to read profiles and biographies of those wanting to link or

                become friends on social networking sites like FaceBook, Twitter and Linkedin?

17.           Do you follow up on referrals given you quickly?

18.           Do you belong to and actively participate in civic organizations, professional and

               industry associations?

19.           Do you have a “give first” rather than a “what’s in it for me” philosophy?

20.           Do you provide quality referrals based on identified needs and wants rather than

               referrals based solely on business type or classification?

A “no” answer to any of the above questions indicates where you need to focus on enhancing your networking knowledge and developing more effective networking skills.

Find out more about basic and advanced networking techniques at www.fearlessnetworkers.com

“The path to prestige is slick with sweat equity.”

–Sally Hogshead, author of “Fascinate: Your 7 Triggers to Persuasion and Captivation”

1. When face-to-face networking, don’t monopolize anyone’s time. Remember the 80-20 rule and the “give-first” rule of networking: Listening 80% of the time and talking 20% of the time, mainly asking questions to elicit issues, needs, wants and challenges you may be able to help with through providing helpful advice, information, resources and referrals.
2. When social networking for business, don’t make direct pleas for help without first establishing relationships through a “give-first” strategy. First provide information such as: inspirational quotes, links to articles and Blogs, conversation-provoking general interest questions or helpful advice to those seeking it.
3. When social networking, don’t automatically accept friend or link requests without ascertaining how you may know a person or learning the background of the person through perusing profiles and biographies.
4. When face-to-face networking, avoid staying with people you came with or talking exclusively to people you already know.
5. When face-to-face networking at networking events, bring enough business cards and keep extras in your car. Running out of or not having business cards can give a poor first impression and cast a shadow on your professionalism.
6. When social networking, strive to learn about the full features of a social networking service like Twitter, FaceBook, and linkedin. At the very least read the ‘frequently asked questions’ and become familiar with the jargon pertaining to the soft (casual conversation side) and the business side of the social networking service you are using. Enrolling in a basic social networking 101 class and reading how-to books have proven very helpful to business and job networkers.
7. When social networking, don’t simply agree to the terms and conditions. Doing so can lead to unwanted capture of personal information by third parties, unwanted spam and even identity thief.
8. When social networking and face-to-face networking, don’t horde information. Networking requires you to share your relationships and resources with others.
9. When face-to-face networking for business, don’t just exchange business cards and initiate conversations. Have a follow up strategy to get to know more about the other person’s business and how you may be able to help or contribute to it. If logistically feasible, set up a face-to-face meeting to learn how you can help or contribute to each other’s business.
10. When social networking for business or a job, don’t keep outdated information in your profiles and biographies. Don’t forget the rules of proper grammar in profiles, biographies, Blogs, comments and status updates. Potential clients (decision-makers) or employers seek those with good communication skills. The most common grammatical errors deal with the proper usage of “I versus me” “Who versus whom” “Its versus It’s” and “That versus which.” Most of these are not caught by basic spelling and grammar checks.
11. When face-to-face networking for business or a job, don’t accept that you are bad at remembering names or faces. Focus on the person you are meeting, have a genuine desire to get to know him or her, repeat their name when in conversation and use an exaggerated association to better remember the name and face. For example, you have just met Mary Queen at a networking event. Focus on Mary’s face while saying to your self, “Mary Queen is someone I really want to know.” Use Mary Queen’s name at least 3 times through the conversation. Finally, visualize Mary Queen dressed as the Queen of England (with crown and gown) while picturing your self shaking hands with her.

Find out more about Fearless Networking for new business development or a job at www.fearlessnetworkers.com

“Strap on the cojones and go. Play like you’re not afraid to lose.”

–Sally Hogshead, author of Radical Careering

Successful business, job and career networkers, share the following 21 qualities of Fearless Networkers:

1.  They have a desire to be of service to others.

2. They practice the universal law of reciprocity (give and you will receive).

3.  They  actively listen to others for needs/concerns/wants to ascertain who in their network that 

     can help resolve the needs/issues/concerns/wants.

4.  They are focused on helping others first before discussing their own

     needs/issues/concerns/wants.

5.  They are patient with prospects, and customers. The do no rush into their product or

     service presentation before building rapport, finding common ground and identifying some

     shared values.

6.  They fearlessly reach out to others to make genuine connections.

7.  They listen approximately 80% of the time and talk 20% of the time while building rapport and

     building common ground.

8.  They value being held accountable for sharing referrals with associates in their network.

9.  They are committed to building relationships with the sincere intent to share referrals.

10.  They relish in being people you can count on.

11. When having difficulty remembering names, they take time to learn memory techniques.

12. They understand and believe, as Dale Carnegie says, “A person’s name to that person is the

      sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

13. They will ask a person how to spell or pronounce phonetically a difficult to pronounce name.

14. They strive to make others feel good about themselves by including them in the conversation,

      sincerely praising them for their input, and in actions and words show they genuinely care.

15. Never ask for a business or job referral at a social function.

16. They listen attentively and actively to others while avoiding looking over their shoulders at

      others in the room.

17. They politely excuse themselves when leaving a group to go to another.

18. They show respect, dignity and courtesy at all times. They avoid sexual, ethnic or gender jokes

      and innuendoes, sarcasm and gossip.

19. They take time to look at a business card received in the presence of the person and ask title-

       related questions.

20. They don’t make promises they can’t keep but, they do keep promises made.

21. They follow up and follow through in a timely fashion.

Learn more about fearless networking at www.fearlessnetworkers.com.

“What you are thunders so I cannot hear what you say to the contrary”                                                                                          –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fearless networkers meet the following litmus test for being a quality referral:

1.       Fearless networkers are the type referral you can stake, your reputation on.

2.       Fearless networkers strive to meet and exceed the needs of your referred associate.

3.       Fearless networkers provide on-target, quality advice, information and resources to your referred associate.

4.       Fearless networkers have an attitude of “How can I help or contribute?” rather than one of “How can I persuade the referred associate to buy?”

5.       Fearless networkers quickly gain, through asking the right questions and being attentive listeners, a solid grasp of the need and wants of the referred associate.

6.       Fearless networkers have a history of providing quality products or service supported by excellent customer service which can be easily verified.

7.        Fearless networkers provide excellent testimonials and case studies from current satisfied clients on their web site.

8.       Fearless networkers can pass the muster with flying colors in any area (background, experience, attitude, skills and knowledge) of the vetting process conducted by a referred associate.

9.       Fearless networkers have a solid reputation as ‘good corporate citizens.’ They give back to the community.

10.     Fearless networkers make reliable referrals because they are of high integrity and sound moral character.

11.    Fearless networkers don’t make promises they can’t keep, however, they keep the promises they make.

12.    Fearless networkers follow up in a timely manner and follows through conscientiously.

13.    Fearless networkers keep referrers abreast of the status of what’s happening with the referral.

14.    Fearless networkers strive hard to return the favor of a referral with a referral for the giver.

Visit Ken’s web site at www.fearlessnetworkers.com for a free articles and more info on fearless networking.

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” 

–Thomas Edison

Some business people are not networking effectively. Most are networking according to old rules, which are really old habits. And old habits really do die hard when it comes to business networking.

1.     Talking with those you already know for an exorbitant amount of time. Business networking is about making contact with strangers. One of my favorite sayings by “best selling” author Harvey Mackay is, “If you’re networking with people you already know. You’re not a network, you’re an ant hill!” By the way, an exorbitant amount of time is any amount of time over five minutes. How long does it take to ask and get an answer to “How’s things since I last saw you two weeks ago?”

2.     Walking into a networking event and making a “bee line” to the first person you spot that you already know. Old habits are hard to break. If you want to avoid the results mentioned in number one above. You must make the effort and have the courage to walk up to the first stranger you come face to face with at a business networking event. If you don’t do this immediately it will become even tougher to break out of your comfort zone. The function will quickly turn into net-socializing instead of “Net-working”

3.     Spending a lot of time around the buffet table and wet bar. If you have read any one of my three books on Fearless Networking, you know that these locations are where the shy and bashful people hang out. Having sold over 120,000 networkers my books, right here in the Houston, it’s a pretty good chance that you have been pegged. Just kidding. People that spend a lot of time around the buffet tables or wet bars are some of the easiest people to approach. Just don’t block my path to the hors’ d’ oeuvres are to the wineJ.

4.     Not having any business cards to hand out. This can easily happen.  You can leave them in the coat you wore last. So, keep twenty business cards on hand in your car’s glove compartment. Even if you parked three blocks away, around a corner, go get your business cards!

5.     Failing to take the time to build a relationship first, instead of immediately jumping into your 60 second product or service spiel or your 30 second elevator talk. It’s a proven fact that People do business with people they know and like. The next time you are tempted to do this, ask yourself:  “How can people get to like and know me, when I am talking about myself and my needs rather than listening for their needs, concerns and business issues?” Remember the old adage, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Trite but true!

6.     Using a networking meeting as a way “net-fun” or “net a date.” Those who do this, you know who you are. The sad thing is, just about everyone else also knows. When your primary purpose is to “net-fun,” just know that this type behavior gets around very fast. Even if you are a terrific businessperson you can quickly gain an unwelcomed reputation.

7.     Drinking to gain the confidence to meet strangers at a networking event. This usually backfires for several reasons. Unbeknownst to you. You become louder, sometimes red-faced and sometimes jumble your words. Even when you’re good at, as you might say, “holding your liquor” others quickly can detect when a shy person is drinking to act braver. A shy person, who is drinking to overcome his shyness, is still a shy person when he drinks. He just thinks he’s braver.

8.     Signing up on LinkedIn, Twitter and Face Book and never going beyond signing up and agreeing to link with others, Social networking is a terrific way to promote your product and services, brand yourself and build relationships.

9.     Joining a networking group and not vetting the group to see whether it is the right fit.

10.   Being a part of networking group to primarily seek referrals and not much interested in giving referrals. As Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of Business Networking International (BNI) says, “Givers Gain.”

Find out more about fearless networkng for business and a job at www.fearlessnetworkers.com